Morning all. I hope you had a fantastic weekend. Personally, I could have used one extra day of weekend this time around. Or at least maybe a slow start. maybe make Mondays half days even if we can’t always have a three day weekend? wouldn’t that be nice? Still, Monday it is, so let’s go ahead and get it started. Timers at the ready? Here we go.
I like this. I like the idea of someone realizing that they need to chage something in their life and going for it. I don’t think it is going to be as easy as planned, but that’s sort of the fun of a story like this. I may have to come back to this.
Monday, February 6th: This is embarrassing.
“This is embarrassing,” he said. He patted himself down as though he was looking for something. As this was the fifth time I had been out with him and he forgot his wallet, I was no longer in the mood to think it was an accident.
“Oh no, let me,” I said. I was in no mood to listen to the entire story again. He looked at me.
“Are you sure?” he said, beginning his protests. I noticed that his hands stopped searching for the illusory wallet. He started talking about running home and getting it, but I tuned it out. Wanting nothing more than to be gone, I paid the check, took the receipt and turned towards the door. We came in separate vehicles and I managed to be polite for the duration of my time in his company.
I get into my car and with a great deal of relief as well as a building headache, I drove off in the opposite direction. Benjamin was not my ideal companion. He wasn’t even my choice for a passable one. Our families had been friends for years and there was some slim hope that at some point the families would unite and become one through marriage.
If they were expecting me to bring about that future they were sorely mistaken. I agreed to go out to dinner with Ben several times in order to maintain peace. I had other things I was doing and didn’t want the interruptions that arguments would bring.
I knew however that this was my last outing with him. I wasn’t so keen on the idea of going out on a date with him in the first place. I didn’t find him appealing on any level. While he could be considered good looking by those who didn’t know him, I spent quite some time with him over the years and found that each encounter made him less attractive. He was a bully to those he felt superior to and he seemed to felt superior to even those he considered worth keeping as friends. He had no regard for personal property, destroying many things that weren’t his over the years without a hint of remorse or repayment. He considered other people’s property and the use of it his due.
When I registered my complaints I was reminded that it had been years since I saw him and that he no doubt grew out of such childish tantrums. I was also reminded that I was still dependent on the family. The reminder didn’t sit well and while I conceded the point and went to the first dinner, I also began separating myself from the family, becoming fully independent.
On that dinner, Ben ordered the most expensive items on the menu, belittled the wait staff and then as he forgot his wallet I had to pay for it all. Each time I was invited to dinner it was the same thing. I kept up the dinners until I was completely separate from the family. Now I was fully standing on my own, there would be no more of them. I smiled to myself as I continued to drive across town. I was done with Ben and I was done with being ordered about by my own family.
I pulled into the parking lot of my new apartment building. I signed the lease on my apartment just the day before and that afternoon my belongings arrived. They were still in boxes. It was not as expensive as the apartment paid for by my family, but it was in my own name and the rent was paid by me. It may not have been has high toned but it offered a measure of security I hadn’t felt in a long time. I couldn’t be thrown out of this apartment on someone’s whim or threatened with such action if I didn’t play along with one of the familial schemes. It was more of a relief than I expected although I suspected when the fact of it became known there would be repercussions.
Ten til Midnight 