Morning all. This morning I can’t lie, snuggling back under the covers as the rain pelted down was a distinct plan. I even ran through all of the reasons why it was a good idea. And then i realized listing my reasoning in my head was actually waking me up. So I got out of bed. It s the sort of day it would be best to just let breeze on by though. Still, I am awake, you are here so let’s set the timers and see what happens.
As always I am more awake now that the timer has gone off. Mental exercises clear the fog away I suppose.
Thursday, March 23rd: And you think this plan is sustainable?
“And you think this plan is sustainable?” Marcie asked.
Jane shook her head. “Of course. No one ever needs to find out.” She smiled looking relieved. Marcie frowned.
“You know you aren’t good at lying, right?” she reminded Jane.
Jane waved the comment away with a flick f her perfectly manicured hands. “This isn’t lying,” she said.
“It’s not?” Marcie replied. “Because it sounds like you are telling a big old whopper of a tale.”
Jane frowned. “It is not lying,” she insisted. “It is manifesting my truth.”
“Manifesting your truth?” Marcie repeated.
“Yes,” Jane replied. She smiled. “This is what I want for my future. This is what will be my future if I just believe in it. It you believe it you can achieve it.” She continued.
“I think you’ve been reading one too many self-help books,” Marcie told her. She turned away and began looking over the selection of earrings on the rack. She slowly turned the carrousel. She didn’t want any new earrings at least not the sort sold in this store, but she couldn’t look at Jane any more.
“One can never have too many self-help books,” Jane declared. She turned and took her pile of clothes off to the fitting rooms. Marcie knew that as the less clothes obsessed best friend it was her role to follow Jane back to the changing rooms and wait for her to try on each garment and offer comments. Comments she knew from years of such shopping excursions would be completely ignored.
‘Much like my concerns about her lies, manifesting or otherwise.’ Marcie thought. She slowly turned the earrings on their stand and decided she didn’t want to comment on the clothing, and didn’t really want to be a part of the whole mess. She knew that this lie Jane was crafting wasn’t sustainable. She knew people, Jane included would get hurt when it came crashing down and she knew in her heart of hearts that it would come crashing down.
It wasn’t a sustainable lie.
“Look, Jane,” Marcie said turning. Halfway to the fitting rooms jane paused and looked back. Marcie stepped away from the counter. “I need to leave. I just remembered something across town.”
“Oh,” jane looked at the clothing draped over her arm. “I suppose I know what you’ll say about any of them anyway. You never like the things I pick out.”
“We have different taste,” Marcie replied. “And I don’t want to be a part of your manifesting.” She continued on. “You do what you feel you have to do, but you leave me out of it.”
“Fine,” Jane said. She rolled her eyes and heaved an exasperated sigh. “You warned me and you want no part of it. You are such a kill joy. Go do whatever it is you need to do. I’ll talk to you later.”
Marcie decided to take the reprieve. She nodded and turned to walk out of the store. She reached the sidewalk with a feeling of relief. She was not involved in this scheme. It was a relief to be out, a relief not to have to worry about it.
She was worried about Jane thought but knew that nothing she said would change jane’s mind. She was determined to go through with things her way. She had been the same all through childhood so Marcie wasn’t sure why she expected Jane to change now that the stakes were higher.
“I guess I just thought she’d grow up,” Marcie said to herself. Knowing it would take at least a few months for Jane to work through her plan, she suspected she wouldn’t hear from her until it was well in motion and at least looking like it was succeeding.
Ten til Midnight 