I’d say I was running slow but I actually got up early today. Then the wind took the lid of my trashcan for a run down the hill and I ended up chasing it. Not really anyone’s idea of a morning run. But the trash is out for collection and it’s lid is on top. we have a local service that doesn’t use the giant mechanical lift so we have a smaller more traditional sized trash can in case you were wondering. It’s nice because we don’t produce that much trash in a week. The lid is just not connected and occasionally goes flying off. (Its Rubbermaid plastic rather than metal). Good trash can, very light lid the wind occasionally uses as a frisbee. But all settled now so on with the morning prompt.
I do love people unexpectedly starting their lives over. Not exactly sure how Gwen’s story will play out, but I like that with a clean slate I can take her story anywhere and with baggage I can complicate things.
Thursday, November 9th: She dove into the water.
She dove into the water. Hier dive was designed for maximum distance rather than depth and her head broke the surface a fair distance away from the edge of the pool. It wasn’t as far as it was when she swam every day, but she was pleased it wasn’t as bad as she feared. She shifted easily into long strokes, lifting each arm out of the ater in turn and twisting her head to the side to breathe.
The rhythm was instinctive, natural. Even though she couldn’t remember how long it had been since she last swam laps, her body easily fell into the pattern that once was part of her daily routine. As she swam Gwen’s thoughts stilled. Her mind calmed. It was the same release she remembered. The measured breathing, the measured movement. It was, in its own way a type of meditation.
She was not a racer by nature. She knew she would never compete to see who could swim the fastest or the most. She pushed her body to swim as many laps as she could, but she always went at her own pace. There was no pressure. She supposed that was what made it a calm meditative outlet for her.
It was an outlet she dearly missed.
Unfortunately, while her mind could have used a dozen more laps than she achieved, her body had not gotten the memo. It was out of practice and reached it’s limit well before she was ready to leave the pool. Gwen sighed to herself and knowing she reached her limit, lazily swirled herself around, bobbing up and down and simply enjoyed being in the water.
‘What did I expect,’ she thought as she finally felt ready to leave the pool. She hauled herself out via ladder and felt the exertion in her arms and legs. “I’m not twenty anymore.”
That is when it hit her. The last time she had swum her morning laps. It was the morning before her wedding. She was twenty two and wanted to clear her mind of all the nervous jitters. While she wasn’t nervous about marrying John, Gwen was not the sort who craved attention and to have all of her family and all of his sitting there, staring at her as she made her vows was somehow daunting. The swim calmed her, but her nerves returned in force once she was dressed and prepared to walk down the aisle.
‘That should have been a clue,’ Gwen thought. She and John loved each other and about him, she had no regrets, even with the way it ended. It was his family she regretted joining. It was his family that tried to shape her into what they believed she ought to be.
Gwen did her best. She knew she had in her heart of hearts. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough and the pressure of it cracked her marriage. Now at thirty eight, John returned to his family and she returned to swim laps.
Ten til Midnight 