Morning all. It is cold and snowy but for the moment we have internet. It has been flickering with long stretches of outages over the weekend so I am going to jump in and hope for the best. Timers set and off we go.
I suspect something very interesting is going to happen to her on the way home. Not sure what, but something.
Monday, February 2nd: I waited for a full hour.
I waited for a full hour. Did they show? No. Did they call to cancel or to tell me they were running late? Of course not. Did I bring work to do with me knowing that there was the distinct possibility they wouldn’t show? I did.
As they stood me up the last three times we made arrangements, I came prepared. Deciding an hour was more than enough time, I gathered my things together and shoved them in my bag. To be honest, I was rather glad they didn’t show. I didn’t want to spend time with them any more than they wanted to spend time with me.
‘But I promised to try,’ I reminded myself as I gathered my notebook and shoved the loose pages into it. My mother married their father, and we were now all supposed to be one big happy family. The fact that we had nothing in common and didn’t really like each other was of no consequence. We were supposed to try.
Hence the planned and scheduled outings.
I knew I would be off to university as soon as summer ended so I saw no reason to antagonize anyone. So I made a note of the planned outings and made sure to be on time. My new step siblings did not and routinely forgot they even existed. I knew from experience that when this outing was brought up in the morning, which it would be, there would be a grand show of horror at the lapse.
My stepsisters would both dramatically proclaim that they had no intention of forgetting, shooting sincere looks at the parentals while giving me side eyed smirks as they asked how long I waited. I knew it was a power play. They wanted me waiting for them. They wanted to be dominant in the household.
I had no interest in playing and was simply counting the days until I could escape, trying not to rock the boat beforehand.
It was irritating though. The constant dramatic denial, the rescheduling and the waiting. It bothered me even more when my mother fell for it and smiled indulgently at their forgetfulness. She seemed inclined to forgive them much of anything. I suspected that she and my new stepfather had an arrangement where he dealt with his children and she dealt with me.
If I had been so much as a minute late, I knew there would be hell to pay. I was used to seeing my mother as a strict disciplinarian. It was disconcerting to see her enforce no rules.
As I left the planned meeting spot I decided that with the next rescheduling I wasn’t going to bother showing up. In truth the only reason I was bothered this time was because I had work to get done. I figured I would stop by and stay a few minutes. The only reason I stayed so long was because I wanted to finish the last of my work. While I started university officially at the end of the summer, I was taking a few early classes to get some of the prerequisites out of the way.
Normally I would lament that I didn’t get to spend my last summer before college lounging with my friends. After the wedding we moved across the country, so my friends were lounging without me and I had no desire to spend time at the house. Classes were a much better option. I hefted my bag to my shoulder and double checked I hadn’t left anything behind.
Ten til Midnight 